I've always been pretty prepared for baby-hood things. Before the babies were born I had read multiple sleep technique books and settled upon a plan of action for the twins. My assignments arrived and I executed the techniques to the best of my ability.
When solids came into the picture I meticulously introduced foods on a regular basis and took note of quantities and caloric intake. When the switch from formula to whole milk came about I transitioned them and watched for any adverse reactions.
Naps were dropped according to suggested timelines and with the exception of a couple of rough days went like clockwork.
Then, since they've turned a year old, all the hard stuff has started coming at me. Stuff that I don't know how to handle really. I can read a few guidelines but most of the time I'm shooting from the hip and hoping that I'm doing it right.
What do I do when my son throws a ball and hits his siste?He wasn't aiming at her but he needs to know that's not acceptable. Can he comprehend this cause and effect at such an early age? How do I handle whining when it's probably appropriate? I've been on the computer or in the kitchen for too long and they're dying for attention, do I "give in" to their whining, teaching them that it is an effective technique, or do I ignore them some more making my guilt worse?
My fear is that I may end up completely out of control. I see mom's in the store with 3 & 4 year olds who are terrible beast children. They scream, fight, hit, throw, and stomp. Meanwhile, mom looks like she's having a melt down and I can't help but see the look in her eye of "it's not my fault! Please don't judge me!" But everyone knows it's her fault. What did she do or not do? I don't want to end up there.
So as my daughter ran up to me with her finger as far up her nose as you can picture, I gently took it out and pretended like it didn't bother me. Then she did it again, and again, and again. I just slipped her hand away from her and tried to distract her with other things. At dinner tonight, she put it up there again, but this time she pulled something out. The look on her face was like she had just won the lottery. I spent most of the night looking over her shoulder and nonchalantly removing her finger.
I don't know if this is the right way to do it but I'm afraid if I make a big deal of it, she'll do it more often and with more enthusiasm. The same way she sticks her finger in the AC unit outside. She does it everyday. She waits until I'm looking, walks over, sticks her finger inside one of the slats, turns/smiles at me and waits for me to come over and put her in time out. Every. single. day.
I realize that a finger up the nose is not the end of the world, I'm not that dramatic, but it's the end to me. The end of her being my baby and entering the world of my child. God help me when my son starts sticking his hands down his pants in public. These are the things you don't think about when those catchy Johnson and Johnson commercials come on and convince you to procreate.
Can't help but LOL! I don't think you'll end up with beastly children though. I just can't see that happening. I do fear it's only going to get harder and more complicated the older they get, yes, I fear that greatly!
ReplyDeleteWell...I hate to say it, but it will happen to you one day...you will be in a public place, and your kids will freak out and you will wonder why they are behaving like that when they don't do it at home or anywhere else. Why now? It's embarrassing, it's stressful, but the only thing that gets you through it is knowing that anyone else who has ever had children has also been there. I have to laugh at my step mother who insists that her children NEVER ever threw a fit. Not once! Bullshit. It usually happens when we have to do something we weren't planning on doing, and we are not prepared, and neither are our children. But, it in no way means you are a bad parent. It's the job of a child to question, to push the limits, to try it and see how you will react. It's your job to direct them. They don't know right from wrong, your daughter doesn't know she's not supposed to pick her nose unless you tell her. I think it's sometimes funny how as parents we act exasperated when our children do something that the rest of the world would deem unacceptable...when, in reality, they are children! That is their job! This is how they learn. My daughter picks her nose all of the time, and it drives me crazy. Grant it, she's almost 4, so I have a tactic that works better than for a 1 yr old, but I make her go to the bathroom and wash her hands every time I see her picking. She hates it! So...sometimes she remembers and quickly pulls her little hand away from her nose before the finger goes in. Hopefully she's get there one day and just not pick anymore (fingers crossed)!!
ReplyDeleteI think that if kids do something that causes another person harm, but they did not do it on purpose, of course they need to be aware of what they did. They don't need to be punished, but like with the ball...just walk over to him and take his hand and say, "Zane, you need to be careful when you throw the ball. You almost hit Lily and that would have hurt her. Try to aim over here the next time." So, then you have given him the information he needs, and he can choose to do what is right. If he does it again, THEN yes, he gets in trouble. Ok sorry! You certainly don't need parenting advice from me! It's so hard to not tell people your own way of doing things!
Unfortunately for impatient moms like ME, repetition is the best teacher. I hate that. I hate repeating myself!