Worst Mistake

Thinking about mistakes. What's the worst parenting mistake I think I've made. Hmm...there's plenty, but I think there is one that makes me cringe each time I think about it.

I'm an advocate of crying it out (CIO). I don't believe in it before 4 months but after that, I'm all for it. For those not savvy into parenting 101, crying it out is when your child is tired, you know they're tired, they know they're tired, but they are putting up a fight to go to sleep. This happens when they realize that hanging out with mom is more fun than their crib, when they start to learn something new (like how to stand up in their crib) or a variety of other reasons.

I was fortunate because my kids were pretty good. I never had to do cry it out on my son until he was 7 months old and decided that flipping over during the night was a great opportunity to scream for mom to flip him back (he would only sleep on his stomach). My daughter, I had to do it around 10 months when she would spit her pacifier out at night and decide she wanted ME to put it back in for her. Both CIO sessions only lasted 3 days and the problems were remedied. Then at almost 1 year old, my daughter started acting very strange. She was refusing to go down for naps and would cry and cry when we would put her to bed at night.

Trying to take a loving approach we would go in there when the crying would get too intense after bedtime and gently rub her back or something else to get her to go to sleep. This went on for 4 days. I had had enough but my husband is a softy for his little girl and can't handle her cries.

Then, he went out of town. This was my opportunity to nip her anti-bedtime habit in the bud (or is it butt, I never know). I put her to bed and as expected she started crying. I said, sorry child, but you're going to have to figure it out. The crying just went on and on and on and on.

At 1 hour and 20 minutes, I couldn't take it any longer. I had never heard her cry that long in my life. But I figured her will was as strong as mine. I went into her room and her face was soaking wet from tears, I felt around in the dark and her sleep sack was even wet. She was a mess. I turned on her little light so I could fix up her crib (it was stuffed animal carnage).

When I flipped on her light, her face had blood smeared all over it. There was also blood on her hands and her sleep sack. I looked at her crib rail and there were gnaw marks that stretched from one end down to the other.

I figured out where the blood had come from, her upper gums. All four of her top teeth were breaking through the surface at one time and she was in terrible pain. She also was trying to cut them through herself on her crib rail. I cried the instant I saw what had happened. She wasn't trying to manipulate me. She didn't want stall her bedtime, she was just trying to tell someone, anyone, that her freakin' teeth hurt like hell.

I calmed her down (and myself), gave her Motrin, and a bottle with cold water in it to suck on. She finally fell asleep from exhaustion and I put her back in her crib. I was racked with guilt and swore from then on that if crying lasted more than 20 minutes, I would always go in and check.

There have only been a handful of times I've had to do CIO, but now that I would consider them "trained" I don't do it anymore. If a cry begins that is not a "I'm dreaming cry" and is intense, I always go to check on them. Almost every time, someone has a fever or has an arm/leg stuck in the crib slats...or like that one time, when my cat was sharing the bed and he didn't appreciate it much.

What's your biggest mistake?