Gossip

One of my favorite things to do with the kids is to gossip about them, right in front of them. I read about it in a book (who knows which one!) and thought it was a fantastic idea. During the day I tell each other how great the other one is. "Did you know your brother ate his fruit all by himself without dropping a single piece on the floor! He's such a good eater." "Your sister carried her books back to the shelf all by herself, she's so strong."

Then at night, since I normally put my son to sleep, I tell all his stuffed animals in his crib the good things he did that day. It's a well known fact that we don't believe compliments unless we overhear them between two other parties. Hopefully, my kids will know how great they are and it will erase the self-hypercritical nature that has been genetically inserted in their brains, thanks to me.

I try so hard to not over criticize my twosome. When I was a child I set such high expectations for myself that no matter what I did I felt like I failed. I'd get a 100 on a test, but lament in the fact that I only got a 95 on the quiz a week before. I'd look at my reebok shoes and hate that they weren't nikes.

I want my kids to like themselves, I always envied those who did.

Of course, I found myself criticizing myself tonight by letting myself know I'm pushing the 'words' too hard. My kids don't speak very much, they grunt and point or do sign language. Lily wanted me to read a book to her. I kept saying "read" over and over, and she kept doing the sign for read. I told her to say "read". I could see her getting angry and she kept grunting and pointing. "READ, honey, READ". She finally broke down into tears, threw the book down and sat in my lap. I felt like mud.

I think I'd be a better mom if someone gossiped about me (trust me, not fishing). But when you're all alone in a house, in a city where you don't know anyone, and the only people I talk to all day don't talk back, it gets a bit disheartening.

It's just a phase though, my day will come, and all the gossip I could ever need will be in the form of hand-made birthday and mother's day cards. Can't wait.