Separation Anxiety

This has been one of the toughest battles for me as a mom. People I talk to often tell me that their children have separation anxiety too, and I'm not alone. No.

What their children have is separation sadness. They cry when they get dropped off at school or fuss when you leave the room. My children freak the fuck out.

It's tough on the nerves. You know it's coming but you still plaster a smile on your face that says, it's ok guys! Really! Stop freaking the fuck out! I will come back!

Here's an example of my children's separation ANXIETY.

They wake up this morning and see their bags and sack lunches on the kitchen counter. Both start screaming and throw themselves on the ground. They refuse to get dressed but run around the house hiding in different locations. After 30 minutes of screaming and wrestling children, I finally get them loaded into the car.

But as I tried to load them into their car seats they kick me in my face not once but three times resulting in a bruise to my left temple. They convulse and scream trying to get out of their car seats. My son just cries hard and yells, but my daughter exclaims NO NO NO NO MAMA NO NO MAMA!!!!!

I put the car into gear and head off for school. The whole 3 minute drive is filled with complete shit fits from the backseat. I exit the car to grab them. They now cling to their car seats like they are about to fall off a cliff. I unwrap their tiny fingers from the straps and they rear back like untamed horses bucking up and down. People stare.

I can only handle one at a time so I rush my son in first. He has both arms and legs wrapped around me and his face buried into my shirt. I hand him off to the teacher and he throws himself down on the ground hyperventilating and looks like he's having a seizure. His eyes are fixed and he becomes stiff as a board while pausing to draw quick breaths in between growls (b/c his screams now sound like animal growls).

Go back get daughter who is screaming so loud I can hear her before I even get to the car. Get her out, she hits me in my face a few times and clings heavily to me once she realizes I outweigh her. Go back to the classroom where the teacher is on the floor with my son trying to get him to snap out of his state.

Hand my daughter off to the teacher. The teacher has to lean backwards so her face can avoid the fury of kicks and punches she's throwing at her lower body region.

My son sees me jumps up and runs his head into the door. Again. Again. Falls to the ground and begins his convulsions once more but this time throws in gagging.

I walk away and even though I didn't think it was possible, the screams get louder and the stares get longer. All the other moms are standing in the hallways gossiping about whatever the morning topic is, my assumption is that the topic begins with, What the hell is wrong with that woman's children? Other children whimper a bit or run into their classrooms smiling from ear to ear.

As I exit the building, I can still hear both of my children screaming. Even as the door shuts, it penetrates the outer glass of the building.

That my friends, is separation anxiety.

They say it has to do with high intelligence. The ability of young children to know and predict when their parents will leave them. I just keep telling myself that.