It's up to them.

"...For step one, you pull out a piece of paper and write on it, "How I Want My Children to Turn Out." Boyack points out that few people actually make parenting plans, which is silly considering all that we plan out in life...."

A fellow blogger friend of mine had a recent post about making parenting plans. At first glance I thought, hmmm, this may be a good idea. But the more I started to think about it, the more I didn't like it.

If you make a list of how you want your children to turn out, you would probably start with the obvious. Not a mass murderer, child pornographer or someone who listens to Creed. But, although you may have some biggies on top, you're are inevitably going to start putting more specifics. Play an instrument, volunteer regularly, grow their own vegetables etc. etc.

In my opinion, how our children turn out in the specifics is not your business. Planning on molding a child to your likings is not right or fair. What happens if they don't turn out like something on your list? Did you fail? Did your child fail you? Are you disappointed?

I have no desire to sit down and write a list out on "How I want my children to turn out". My children may even turn out hating me and living in a closed off apartment in SoHo, if that is what makes them happy, go for it.

Modern parenting has one major pitfall. In our quest to be the most perfect of parents we are way too involved in our child's upbringing. Helicopter parenting is responsible for creating the emerging society of "not my fault-ers" and "can't someone else do this for me-ers".

I hope my kids take off for Europe without me. I hope they have a secret boyfriend or girlfriend that I know nothing about, and even maybe have a diary or journal that no one ever sees.

It's more important to me that my kids know that I will love them no matter what. No Matter What. They're going to mess up, maybe even really bad but it's their life, not an extension of my own.