It's because they know mom will ALWAYS be there for them and no matter what they do, I'm going to love them. This, unfortunately, gives them a power that they are not ready to understand yet.
The same goes with behavior between the two of them. They are not nice to each other. In fact, they are down right mean. Yet when we go to the park, they are the sweetest children to other kiddos. In fact, at playschool, the two days they have been there the teachers have commented on how involved and attentive they are to the other children's needs. They're nice to other people because they need to gain love and acceptance. They're mean to mommy and each other because they can be.
Quite a negative take on human behavior. Treat others well to gain things, treat those close to us like crap because we can. I find myself doing it from time to time. Those closest to me are those most likely to get my wrath at the end of a bad day. My best friend and I are terrible friends to each other. We forget to return calls, miss birthdays, show up late, because we know we will always be there for each other and no amount of screwing up will shake our relationship. Not very fair huh.
Well, mom has finally got some cuddles. Since the birth of my children, I have been dreaming of the day when they would willingly lay in my lap and snuggle up with me. I am a cuddlebunny by nature so I've been wanting some bunnylove back from my babies. Yet, it never happened. I'd try to wrangle one into my lap and they'd struggle with all their might to escape and go do something more productive. Even at night when I'm putting them to bed, they shoot down my snuggles. My son would even point to his bed after I would insert his pacifier for the night. "Mom, over there please, you're crowding my personal space, and I've had a long day."
Yesterday, I took both my children to playschool and left them there. They got to see mom drop them off in a strange place with strangers, turn her back and disappear. What a weird experience it must have been for them. But, after picking them up and returning home, I had two of the sweetest children I have ever seen. They were nice to me, didn't fight diaper changes, played well together, even helped clean up the kitchen (slopping a dishcloth across the table in a swirling motion). Who were these children!
Today, the same thing. After returning home, I had the joy of sitting on my couch, a baby snuggled under each arm with heads leaning on my chest as we watched some TV. My dream had finally come true. All my babies wanted to do today was snuggle and be as close to mom as possible.
Was it the realization that mom can and will leave you that did it? Is that what finally snapped some appreciation into them? Is this why children who attend daycare always seem so much happier and nicer to their parents than stay-at-home kids? It's possible.
All I know is I'm loving it. My son even gave me an unsolicited kiss right on the cheek tonight. First time ever. My daughter grabbed my hand and put it on her head asking me to play with her hair (my favorite thing when I was little too). Playschool is working out. Either that or the threat of mom dropping them somewhere and never returning has entered their little minds.
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