By nature, I am a very hot headed person. Even though I fake it well, I can snap like no one's business. When buttons are pushed I can feel heat rise in my chest and words spew out of my mouth that I wish I could cram back in.
Things I thought a loving mother would never say to her children, such as, "what the hell is wrong with you!?!", "are you stupid!?!", "knock it the hell off!", "ENOUGH!" are all items I wish I could take back and hope no one but the good Lord was watching.
Sadly, none of the above has ever been uttered to my daughter but she has bared witness. My son, is me. He has a fierce temper, utterly impatient and willful like you have never seen a child. At 3 days old, the nurse at the hospital laughed at me and said, "you have fun with that one". His first day of daycare, at 3 months old, the room lady asked "is he always like that!?!".
My son knows what he wants, he wants it now and will stop at nothing to get it. What I hate most about myself, reflects right back into my face each day. We hate in others what we hate most in ourselves, and sadly, for my son, it results in an angry mommy that I regret instantly. But as all items in parenting...I'm working on it.
So so true! I have a little girl who can be stubborn as a mule but also loves to laugh and apparently cracks her own self up. Totally a mirror to her mama (that sometimes makes me cringe, but makes me smile, too).
ReplyDeleteI have this same type of relationship with my daughter. She is my mirror. I am starting to think of it as a good thing...at least I can see my faults this way. I can also see my father in both of us and recognize the things I DO NOT want to pass on to my children...sometimes this happens a little too late. Unfortunately, there are days that I just don't like my daughter. I love her with all of my heart, but if I have to spend one more second around mini me, it will drive me over the edge!! But there are days when she is the only person who gets me and she's 3!!!
ReplyDeleteMy sweet pea is becoming more and more like me with each passing day. Like you, she has pushed my buttons to make me snap and say things I wish I could take back. Panda Girl has not been the subject of said outbursts, but has seen them on several occasions. Thankfully, we are working on it and we are improving. I'm getting very worried about those tween years. God save me from myself!
ReplyDeleteya, I think the worst thing I've said is "stop it! no wonder people beat their children!!" that one made me instantly cringe and say a prayer of forgiveness.
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